Extreme Cooking 1: The Monster Egg

Although Christmas is officially over I am still eating far too much. The fridge abounds with left-over brussel sprouts, mince pies, Christmas pudding and fine cheeses. There’s still a decanter of port to be polished off and for some reason or other our cupboards abound with chocolate things and cheese nibbles.

Even so our eating habits don’t seem as extreme as those of our forebears. I have been browsing an ancient copy of Kettner’s Book of the Table which was published in the 1870s and feel that the time is right to recreate the Monster Egg:

Break a dozen or two of eggs, separating the whites and the yolks. Tie up the yolks in a pig’s bladder, boil them hard, and take them out again. In a still larger bladder place the whites; into the midst of this put the yolk; tie up the bladder tight; and boil the whole until the white hardens. Uncover the Monster Egg, and serve it on a bed of spinach...

In case one’s guests get over-curious you might suggest that it is a very small egg laid by a Madagascan aepyornis. This ostrich-like bird (now extinct) measured three metres in height and weighed in at half a ton. A single aepyornis egg would have been equivalent to more than twelve dozen hens’ eggs.

Ships of the Desert

Trust us to be jocked off our flight to Dubai last Thursday evening . Virgin Atlantic had decided to downsize their plane at the last minute and there were no other direct flights available with spare seats. Our quick weekend break to see the grandchildren and sort out some Christmas gifts looked as if it would be shortened by at least 24 hours.

After an abortive attempt to force our way on to an already overbooked Oman Air flight to Muscat, we found ourselves at 3.00am UK time waiting and waiting at Cairo airport for an Egypt Air connecting flight to Dubai. When at last the flight was called there was no 'boarding by seat numbers'. Instead someone blew on a referee's whistle and a stampede ensued - somewhat to the dismay of the various wheelchair passengers who had been left close to the departure doors.

Eventually (and only seven or so hours late) we made it to sun-soaked Dubai and witnessed Santa Claus riding on a camel. Indeed the Rumbling Nappa had to watch his footwork to avoid treading in some camel poo.

The poor camel population is having trouble in the Dubai desert. The problem is that too much litter is being left all over the place and there is nothing that a camel enjoys more than snuffling about in rubbish bins. Sadly something like 50 per cent of camel fatalities are now directly caused by garbage, particularly plastic carrier bags (which cause suffocation). Old tyres, tin cans and bottles also cause digestive problems for the poor creatures. Fortunately our hotel comes complete with a Gordon Ramsay restaurant so we shouldn't suffer too much.