Ryan ten Dustcart and others

Back to Lords for the opening ceremony and first match of the ICC World Twenty20 series - and what a shambles. I was slightly niffed at not being allowed to watch from my usual eyrie atop the Tavern Stand, and had to make the tiresome trek to the top of the Warner Stand (a place which is extremely badly served with gentlemen's loos).

However my guests and I were dutifully in our seats by 4.30 for said opening ceremony and, inevitably, nothing happened. During the next hour no-one had any idea of what was going on until, eventually, a shortened version of the opening ceremony took place consisting (inappropriately for the occasion) of a short speech by a bewildered looking Duke of Kent. Standing behind him with a leering grin was none other than the Max Mosley of English cricket - Giles Clarke - and one wondered if a helicopter might descend from the skies with a reincarnated Sir Alan Stanford.

Oh dear, play eventually got going and Luke Wright and Ravi Bopara got England off to a great start, but then the wheels came off the bus. Subsequent batsmen were not up to the game and the run rate fell away. Ultimately the Hollanders deserved their victory, farcical though the sixth ball of the last over happened to be.

I was cheered up on the Circle Line tube coming away from the match. Someone had placed a very official 'Transport for London' sign on the window opposite my seat. In appropriate TFL style it read:

PEAK HOURS
May necessitate that you
allow another passenger to
sit on your lap.