Umami

As everyone knows 'umami' is a pleasant taste imparted by glutamate, a type of amino acid, and ribonucleotides which is sometimes referred to as the fifth taste. To be a bit less specific the first four basic tastes are bitterness, saltiness, sourness and sweetness. The fifth can more generally be described as savouriness and savouriness is definitely what Rumbling Nappas like (in much the same way as Tiggers like Hunny).

Thus the the announcement of 'Taste No 5 Umami' - a new wonder food which comes in a toothpaste tube at £2.95 from Waitrose - caused me not inconsiderable interest. I wasn't alone. With a clever build-up in the national newspapers prior to the product launch the Waitrose shelves were emptied the moment stocks arrived and for several weeks I hankered after this exotic and scientifically proven substance.

The paste describes itself as a 'flavour bomb'. You simply rub or spread the stuff on raw meat, poultry, fish, roasts or vegetables to season before cooking. Chuck it into stir-fries, risottos, pasta, soups, stews, burgers, panini etc., etc., etc. I'm not sure if it wouldn't work equally well as a shampoo or hair gel the way the marketing verbage goes on and on.

Anyway eventually we tracked down a couple of tubes and the main ingredients sound right up my street: anchovies, porcini mushrooms, parmesan cheese, olives, garlic and so on. Mmmm, great. The first tube however disappeared into Mrs Rumbling Nappa's stir fry, alongside a pint of soy sauce, some chilli, black bean sauce and a couple of dozen other ingredients. The result was delicious, certainly, but it didn't have a viagra-like effect on my senses. Indeed, if truth be told, the stir fry was much like others without the magic ingredient.

The second tube has been used more sparingly. I've rubbed the stuff into steaks and it is just about identifiable. I can't help thinking though that I've been caught by a bit of a marketing scam. Maybe if I mixed a big pot of the ingredients together and sold it as 'The Rumbling Nappa's Magic Paste' I could make a few pounds from the enterprise. Maybe I'll do just that.