Serenity

There's a lot to be said for "inner calm". The ability not to get excited about Sir Fred Goodwin's pension pot, Ryanair's plan to charge a pound for passengers using the loos on their planes, or England's cricket team struggling away in the West Indies.

Just calmly swim along with the tide and don't fret about the awfulness of the Readers Digest customer service department, the inefficiency of the Royal Bank of Scotland's WorldPay organization, or Walker's decision to stop manufacturing Marmite flavoured potato crisps*.

Keep up appearances at all times and remain unruffled by people shooting at Sri Lankan cricketers in Lahore, the attraction of the "sin bin" to England rugby players, the continuing collapse of the British economy.

Enjoy the few good things in life. When was the last time that two Essex batsmen scored centuries in the same test match? The grey, damp drizzle that is darkening this tuesday morning will surely be doing wonders for Mrs Rumbling Napa's newly planted potato sets. The weakening pound will undoubtedly reinvigorate the British tourist industry.

No need to rant or ramble. Simply swim along with everything that life throws at one. Swim with dignity and keep one's feathers immaculately clean. Betray only a hint of inner rumbling.

* After writing the above I found that Unilever (owners of Marmite) had reclaimed the "crisp" franchise and are manufacturing Marmite-flavour crisps themselves. Mrs Rumbling Nappa procured me some packets from Asda. Kind of her, but they are not the same as the Walkers crisps.